Stuck in the '70s

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Party in the ghetto

I'm preparing for my 12th annual Oscar party at the moment. The house is a mess. I still have the same concerns as when I entered the last post a few nights back. Some of them are weighing heavier on me than others. The job hate thing can be dealt with, but I don't know how much longer. The clutter around me, however, is almost more than I can bear.

This party started in 1995 as a "divorce party". When the ex caught wind of it, I thought I'd better call it something else. I have always been into movies. In college (liberal arts college, I might add), I studied film. I can't watch a movie to this day without looking at the angles and lighting and analyzing. So, I've been following films ever since. Some friends recommended "Wedding Crashers" as the funniest thing they've ever seen so I recently put that in my Netflix queue and wasted a couple hours on it the other night. Rubbish.

Anyway, the house is torn up, and even though I live in the ghetto and have for the past 16 years, I've always been able to make my house presentable for my Oscar party. This year, I'll have a number of guests here and my house is destroyed. I ain't complainin'. I'm gonna have a totally new kitchen. You wouldn't believe the squalor (hey, that's a good word) we've been living in.

So, this year is a great challenge. I keep reminding myself that the people I've invited are my friends, and they will work around it. However, I have to work around not having a kitchen sink or stove or, in fact a f**in' kitchen.

Today, the temp got up to 75 here in northcentral Arkansas, and I went topless at lunch. Don & I had the same hours, so we chose to cruise in Connie the Convertible Cruiser for the lunch hour. That was sweet. But, then I came home to the house and the kitchen and the yard mess and the "ghetto." True midlife crisis. I could've probably gone till the boys went off to college, and had the mini van and lived with the leaks and damaged floor, etc. But, we'd be miserable. So, this year's tax money went to fixing the leaks and the kitchen. However, I couldn't live with selling appliances that are damaged and don't work. Every day I get calls from people who I've sold stuff to, and they say their stuff is failing. I tell them, "I'm just a peon." I can't fix their stuff. I just sold them the stuff. This sucks.

I talked with my friend Sarah tonight. We are sorority sisters. She's in Florida and working at a paper, doing what I do. I'm sending my resume. I dunno where I'll end up, and by age almost 43 (I'll be 43 Friday) I oughtta have something figured out.

At any rate ... I have no right to complain. I've been the "single mom" for 11 years now and have found someone to share my life with who understands me. We can talk about all of this stuff and not hide anything. That's what I was longing for and have written about in this dang blog since the time I created it. So, why am I writing?

Therapy, I guess. No one has to read this stuff. And, I don't expect you to. I'm grateful for those of you who actually tune in and read. That's cool. And, I don't mean to bring you down, man. I guess I'm writing for selfish reasons because I have to get it out of my system. I'm happier than I've been in 17 plus years.

I'm just confused about what to do next. I'm a-fixin' to turn 43 in a few days, and I can't imagine where I thought I'd be at that moment when I wrote the diaries I've published on my Web site. I didn't even fathom living that long. I remember in one of my diaries doing the math to figure that I'd graduate high school in 1981, and now, I should have a 25-year reunion this summer. Well, the class president was a pothead and didn't arrange any of them like he was supposed to, so who knows? Hell ... our class motto, even published in the yearbook, was "We party hearty and have lots of fun 'cause we're the class of '81." I didn't party hearty. I was a nerd. So I guess I missed out on the fun. Kim Browder, Darcy Fisher, Sherry Colwell, Caren Meyers, Lori Closen, Kathy Krog, Stacey Dunkelberger ... I'd like to meet up with you and I'm comin' to Illinois this summer. But, these are my friends who I'm sure won't be at the reunion. If you're reading this, please get hold of me ... I'd rather visit with you than go to an ol' reunion any ol' day!!!

OK ... it's after 1 a.m., and tomorrow is the only day off I have before my big party, so I'd better sign off. I've put up a "before" picture of the kitchen and will sure put up an "after" one when the time comes. So, thank you for staying tuned!



  • At 9:05 AM, Blogger meerelda said…

    Hey, Julie!

    Try not to over-analyze things this close to your birthday. I understand where you're coming from completely! I turned 42 on February 8. For a week before that I was on the verge of tears and suffering from panic attacks looking at the "mess" my life was in. Bills, bills, bills...little to no spending money, stress everywhere, a "go-nowhere" career, etc. Once I passed the birthday and got over it, though, I realized the good things I have; a loving husband, 2 great little girls, good friends, we're on the verge of closing on our first home, and the possibility of fixing all of the other damn financial problems (that most of us face)with a little time and sacrifice. It will be okay! I promise! On the other side of that birthday things will feel a bit better. Go on with your party, have LOADS of fun and maybe make the "mess" a theme of some sort; maybe "A Tribute to Katrina", or "We're Not in Kansas Anymore"(tornado)party or some such silliness? Take care of you and yours first and foremost, and say prayers and send positive "vibes" to all the rest until you feel that you're back in control of your issues. In other words, don't sweat the small stuff. One step and one day at a time, right? Happy early birthday!

    P.S. - Ever tried a free-lance career in writing??? You'd probably be good at it! :) Lots of authors got their start submitting articles to magazines, journals, etc. There are folks making careers out of their blogs, too! Check out sometime and see what I mean. That man travels, rubs elbows with celebrities, etc. as a result of his witty writing skills. Good Luck!

  • At 10:44 AM, Anonymous Robyn said…


    I enjoyed reading some of your blog entries. My name is Robyn and I am the co-producer of I am looking for single moms to support single mother resources with our badge. Today, single parenting takes extra courage, strength and energy and we at SMR feel single moms should be proud of their great accomplishments in life. If you are interested, please email your address to to help support outgoing women like yourself.


    Co-Producer SMR


Post a Comment

<< Home